it seems to me,that the secret to a successful blog....is to not get too deep underneath you own skin...or at least,not your real skin...instead to delve underneath that imaginary "amazing self" that you wish you were...full of fabulous anecdotes and wonderful experiences...
funny how all these amazing people,are often just the opposite in person? unless you have something useful to them, unless you can help them climb some proverbial ladder and lead them to further greatness.they only want to know you think they are awesome.
no moments filled with darkness.not an empty thought in their heads....no one is that wonderful.
fuck all that unreality. i'm sorry if i seem morbid sometimes...but the funny thing is,i'm not sitting in a little black cloud- just because i can acknowledge that that darkness exists...and that those moments happen to have played a huge part in shaping my past few years.
i find my darkness humourous, those times when i've found myself staring up from what feels like the bottom of a very deep heavy sea.that kind of pressure and fear feels inescapable-and yet..here i stand on the shore staring out at that same sea...full of wonder,and never more aware of being alive.how can that be depressing?
nothing is too big to fight against,....anyway...i've lost the flow now- too busy watching the storm outside...
heavy rain is my favourite weather.