I stand outside in the cold until my body cannot feel anymore.
Behind the trees at the bottom of the garden I break down.
Under this sky with its heartbreaking shade of blue,
that special evening blue streaked with pink.
I cannot sustain it. This.
I'm too tired. Too little sleep. Too little rest.
All guilt and sorrow.
My eyes search for distraction. Bugs...
Snails, flowers still left behind in this autumn chill.
Mosquitos buzz in silence above my fuzzy head.
I care not.
This vast world. We, so minuscule; so meaningless.
Yet we learn to think the world of ourselves and each other.
What ridiculous creatures we are.
I climb the steps. Repressing this crushing feeling.
Clasping down upon my ribs. My shoulders.
In years that follow. This moment will be small. Though not insignificant.
Remote to the present.
But now. Now it is as vast as the universe itself.
And I am consumed by it.
This wave will fall back, just the same as it has risen.
Washing over everything. Tearing away what is not solid.
We all fall apart.
Then we rebuild.
Such is life.